Status and Desire

”...just as early industrial capitalism moved the focus of existence from being to having, post-industrial culture has moved that focus from having to appearing.”

A confident man doesn’t feel a need to prove that he’s confident. A rich woman doesn’t feel a need to convince anybody that she’s rich.

Other people are probably so busy trying to impress you that they will, at best, not notice your efforts.

People buy luxury branded items to treat their insecurity, but it’s only a temporary numbness.

People don’t need enormous cars, they need respect. They don’t need closets full of clothes, they need to feel attractive and they need excitement and variety and beauty. People don’t need electronic equipment; they need something worthwhile to do with their lives.

Desire is the source of all suffering.

One of history’s few iron laws is that luxuries tend to become necessities and to spawn new obligations. Once people get used to a certain luxury, they take it for granted. Then they begin to count on it. Finally they reach a point where they can’t live without it.

We are more interested in making others believe we are happy than in trying to be happy ourselves.

Musonius goes on to suggest that we would also be better off if, instead of working hard to become wealthy, we trained ourselves to be satisfied with what we have; if, instead of seeking fame, we overcame our craving for the admiration of others; if, instead of spending time scheming to harm someone we envy, we spent that time overcoming our feelings of envy; and if, instead of knocking ourselves out trying to become popular, we worked to maintain and improve our relationships with those we knew to be true friends.

We tend to grossly overestimate the pleasure brought forth by new experiences and underestimate the power of finding meaning in current ones.

The Buddha taught that the root of suffering is to be found in our constant wanting and craving.

The more you desperately want to be rich, the more poor and unworthy you feel—regardless of how much money you actually make.

The more you desperately want to be sexy and desired, the uglier you come to see yourself, regardless of your actual physical appearance.

The more you desperately want to be happy and loved, the lonelier and more afraid you become, regardless of those who surround you.

Once you’ve tasted living lavishly, it can be difficult to go back. Be careful about setting your standards too high.

Status is a zero-sum game: if someone is going to win, there also has to be a loser.

“When I obtain this or am free of that—then I will be okay.” This is the unconscious mindset that creates the illusion of salvation in the future.

When you are free of “becoming” as a psychological need, neither your happiness nor your sense of self depends on the outcome, and so there is freedom from fear.

We all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.

Worker bees can leave, even drones can fly away. The queen is their slave.

He who knows he has enough is rich.

He is richest who is content with the least, for content is the wealth of nature.

One day, humanity will be destroyed, and it will be because we decided to film it instead of running away.

The ability to afford something is the luxury, not to not being able to afford it.